(Written February 10, 2011, 11:40 pm, at age 23.)
Together is overrated;
The you and the I were baited.
I try to be you and you try to be me,
And all we feel is catastrophe.
You leave and I think it's right,
Because I have sense and a friend by my side.
Then some conversations feel unwhole,
The silences clang and take their toll.
I shatter and I wonder if you even cracked.
I am steeped in all I always lacked.
You are distant, and I know I am glad.
I am confused at my panic and my sad.
How do I cut off the insanity?
How do I learn what it is to be me?
You are away and I am glad,
You are removed from the manic and the mad.
You deserved better, I always knew;
You deserved simple, honest and true.
I deserved passion, inexorable belonging.
I deserved it all, all of nothing.
So you are gone, and I am satisfied,
That though I am broken and have not cried,
You are not mine and are not meant to be,
You lacked the words and I lacked the melody.
If only I could break my thoughts apart,
I'd know you weren't ever in my heart.
Because you are you and I am me,
And together is utterly unnecessary.