Crime Scene

(Written 20 May 2026 at 9:45 pm.)

My body feels like a crime scene

The kind at which experienced detectives on TV say to each other,

“It’s bad in there”

The blood spatter evidence is a mess

It’s on fabric 

And on furniture

And you can’t tell which streams are from the commission of the crime

And which drops are from moving stuff around later

There are questions as to the victim

There is no whole body waiting to be identified 

Though those clots look a lot like concentrated units of flesh torn asunder

Certainly, in this carnage,

Someone or something has died

Which part of me has gone into those nether shadows

Waiting to be mourned?

I’m Impossible

(Written 6 May 2026 at 11:25 pm)

I think I have made it impossible to love me

Maybe not to feel something akin to love for me

But to make me feel loved

I think love dies when it cannot leap

Over the chasm between those two things

prakriti

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 3:05 am)

tum shaayad samjhe naheen ki prakriti ke niyamaanusaar

jaise phoolon ka khilna bahaarein laati hain

tumhaari taakti nazron ke khaamosh khayaal jab tumhaari jhapakti palkhon se toot jaate hain

tabhi meri angdaayiyaan aati hain

aaj aur kal

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 2:42 am)

tumne to jo dekhe the 

voh sitaare ab naheen

bhale hi aasmaan tumhe sundar lag raha ho

tumhaari nazar ki saaye mein

voh sitaare to so gaye

mujhe bhi tumne dekha tha

neend mujhe bhi samet ke apni baahon mein

tumhaari nazron se door le jaa rahi hai

phir kisi din ya raat

jaane kaun tumhe dikh jaaye

shaayad tumhe lage ki main hoon

————————

(2:48 am)

main phir kabhi kaise aaoongi?

aaj jo main hoon use to neend 

aasaan se ghoont mein nigal jaayegi

kal kaun jaagega

na tumhe pata hai aur na mujhe

mat sone do mujhe

—————————

(2:53 am)

haath laga lo to shaayad aaj se kal ke beech faasla tumhaari ungliyaan tay kar dein

phoolo phalo

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 1:58 am)

Chalo aaj ki shab mein yeh din bhi ja dhala

Kehna mat par aaj na main phoola na phala

sirf lavz

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 1:46 am)

aa ke pakad ke humein kuch boojha do to koi baat hai

lavz to sunte likhte rahe apni akeli saugaat hai

paap

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 1:36 am)

Mat chhoo-o in angon ko tum

Kaheen paap tum tak na phail jaaye

Dekho us doori se jahaan se

Kamiyaan dikhti hain

Phir jap lena har maun vrat mein

Adh-samjhe shlokon ki tarah

kavita

(Written 30 April 2026 at 1:32 am)

Main jo hoon main naheen hoon

Main jo hoon tumhaare pyaar ka aandolan hai

Tumne apne sabse khoobsoorat hisse leke 

Mujhe likha hai

Tumne auron ki khoobiyaan

Bhi daal di mujh mein

Kitni sundar kavita ke lekhak ho tum

Par main us kavita ka asiddha paath hoon

stupor (2)

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 12:56 am)

there is a stunning stupor that descends

when the final vestige of the day rends

the sky into an indiscernible mass of gray

things slow down, perhaps because

your mind is no longer fraught with finding the cause

of the shattering applause that blew you away

you imagined it though, didn’t you

those rousing claps that brought you to

this broken feeling that you can never say?

summon the hubris before it diverts its being

into metaphysical excuses like a life worth seeing

and hold it accountable for its unforgivable sway

effort

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 12:37 am)

the sheer effort it takes to die

is monumental

if you don’t believe me

ask the many cigarettes

i have brutally sacrificed 

as their one inch ends stare sternly

from multi shaped metal and ceramic graves 

as if to ask

really? you’re still alive?

avalanche

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 12:32 am)

how could you possibly have known

the avalanche

you unleashed on me 

with two kind words

and an unmeaning smile 

it buried me

but mercilessly let me breathe 

so i could survive

to write this

encoded

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 12:27 am)

have you ever wondered about the secrets silence holds?

or about its molecular, nay, quantum folds?

the silent thoughts encoded in quiet spaces

illuminate the dark corners of these many faces 

that fool me for so long into forgetting the truth

that our beauty and ugliness shaped our youth

into the fractured memories that return uninvited

to the already completed section of works cited

Toes

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 12:18 am)

toes are funny 

they wiggle sometimes

when your body needs to be reminded it can move

mostly they are quiet 

in their duty 

of balancing you

but sometimes they meet other toes 

then they become messengers of madness

that is descending too slowly to recognise 

or tickle you the way fingers can’t 

and then humour takes a bodily meaning

full

(Written 30 Apr 2026 at 12:11 am)

the veins

they are full

and a little too thick for comfort 

could we lessen the load

or is that too far against the normal

we are bound to

uncloaked

(Written 30 April 2026 at 12:07 am)

the things you broke open with an unexpected laughter
are confused and shy
why did you uncloak them,
they wonder 

but they’ve seen the light now
and can’t go back 
they stumble and find their way
and eventually dance
in the sunlight of everyone’s gaze

kya kuch hua tha?

(In conversation with a friend, 19-22 April 2026)

Me:

baarish se dhule pannon par

jo kahaani likhi thi

kya voh hui thi?

Friend:

aansu the…pani tha

siyahi thi...kajal tha

kya tum royi thi?

Me:

dhoop mein neem moondi aankhon se 

jo phool chhipe reh gaye 

kya voh khile the?

Friend:

chaadar ki silvaton mein

ek bali thi chandi ki

kya hum mile the?

Shaayad

(Written 17 April 2026 at Praliné French Patisserie in Cambridge)

shaayad tumne socha hoga ki yeh ko hai yeh pyaar hai

shaayad tumhe phir lagega ki yeh soch bhi kya bekaar hai

shaayad tumne socha hoga jo na mukammal ho voh khoobsoorat hai

shaayad tumhe phir khyaal aaye ki khoobsoorati ki kise zaroorat hai

shaayad tumne socha hoga ki tumhaari apne mann par chalti hai

shaayad tumhe phir ehsaas ho ki hukoomat kitni khalti hai

shaayad tumhe mehsoos ho yeh anjaanaapan meetha dard hai

par shaayad shaayad karte karte poori kaayanaat hi zard hai

shaayad mujhe pata tha, shaayad maine kaha naheen

ki shaayad shaayad karte karte mujh mein kuch raha naheen

Talk to Me

(Written 8 April 2026, 10:40 am, in Saint-Alban-Leysse)

Talk to me
As I stroll streets so silent, beautiful and alien
That I don’t know what to do with myself

Your voice may break the spell
Or enchant me more
But I think I want to find out which

Breathe next to me
So I can smell you
As I pollute the air
Will it forgive me?

The quiet is generous and looming

The sun warms my skin 

The way I want you to

I can feel the rays move on my face

Like I imagine your gaze or the merest brush of your fingertips

The rays burn different parts of my face as I turn: slow, labored, flighty

I am flushed

But today I can blame that on le soleil

These tulips seem happy

Or at least content

Maybe fingers will collide in accidental stride
Maybe they will recoil in forgetfulness or in fear
Maybe they will hook
A squirming worm not aware it’s about to be a fish’s lunch

 
Talk to me anyway
Perhaps silence is the way to be
But — except for all the other times —

I seem to always want to talk