Thursday, October 16, 2008


(Written at age 16.)

the music blares,
it dares
to fill the air
fill my ears
fill me
with nothing but itself.
i am void of all
save the rhythm that becomes one
with my heartbeat.
i feel no need,
no want,
no wish,
no desire.
it is gone -
the agony, the confusion,
every human emotion.
my blood throbs,
by the sheerness,
the mereness,
of sound.
i resound
in echoes
streching out, all around me.
i seek to be,
to see,
in this beautiful haze.
this haze,
which has so kindly
the ugliness, the deformity
of life,
and brought with it
its own kind of pain -
a gain, a sinister gain.
i am flooded,
i am lost.
in this sea,
in its waves,
time raves.
i live.
i am so full
(of what?)
i am so empty
(it is so beautiful to be empty)
the beats become slow.
the waves cannot recede now,
they must stay,
i am whole, somehow.
i cry, i implore,
don't ebb, don't go.
stay, so i can be empty, and full,
and love
without being tinted.
alas it finishes.
it ends.
but it is deaf
to my frantic appeal.
i lie
of myself.

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